Once Upon A Time In The Empire

Lords of Ubersreik

Where our heroes gain reknown

From Kvothe’s quill pen.

Having just been invited to Holzenhauer’s big ball, I began discussing Lord Aschaffenberg’s political campaign in greater detail with the lord and his manservant, Vern Hendrick. I was surprised to discover that both of them weren’t quite as incompetent as I had feared, and already had many plans and strategies in place. Still, they seemed impressed with the connections I and my comrades brought with us, especially when I mentioned Bigby Blayse’s name. I know not what fate is in store for me should I ever return to the College in Altdorf, but scoring some major political connections for the Bright Order with an Elector Count should go a long way towards clearing my name and/or scoring advancement within the order. Still, Vern Hendrick maintains that wizards aren’t viewed too kindly in Ubersreik – something to do with their history, or some such – and stressed that if a Bright Order wizard – me – were to end a major chaos threat – The Chemist – that would go a long way towards increasing the goodwill towards wizards in Ubersreik. It might even allow for the possibility of opening up a Bright Order chapter house in Ubersreik, or allowing the Order to become the personal adviser of Lord Aschaffenberg.

But enough of the intrigue! While the rest of retired to our lodging at Rugger’s Boarding House, the Dwarf snuck off to break into the Temple of Verena. A brilliant plan with little to no foreseeable consequences – typical of the Dwarf – I’d have cautioned the little ankle-biter against it had I known about it. Still, I can’t argue that his methods were effective, because, low and behold, he came back with the personal diary of the head priest of Verena (boring), an itemized list of books (very boring) and a sheaf of chaos-tainted pages (very terrifying). Apparently the Verenans had only just discovered it in their basement, hidden inside a book. Very suspicious. Carrying the papers ourselves is very risky, but for better or worse, they are now our problem to deal with. I’m tempted to use them to frame Sapponatheim and take him out of the political running, but I’m equally tempted to simply ship them off to the temple of Sigmar by proxy and have them destroyed. We’ll see what the rest of our little gang say.

While this was going down, the rest of us had gone to sleep – except for the Priest, who made a lot of noise downstairs before staggering up the stairs, flopping into bed and crying himself to sleep. Not sure what that was about. The rest of the evening was fairly uneventful, aside from a trio of Skaven assassins whom we dispatched without taking even a single wound ourselves (Wurst got poisoned, cos he’s the worst, but I think he’s ok now. Also I accidentally kicked the Priest in the face, but it’s unfair to blame the Skaven for that one). The Lawman went off to summon the Watch (a novel experience, it’s the first time we’ve called the Watch rather than have the Watch called on us). We produced three Skaven bodies as proof of our dedication in the fight to chaos to a pair of dull watchmen who promptly summoned Andrea Pfeiffer herself to the crime scene in short order. Simultaneously I sent the Dwarf to bring in Vern Hendricks as a witness, because I was tired of people not believing in our struggles against the filthy little rat-creatures.

The Priest did a bit of sleuthing on his own (is it just me or does he seem a bit worse for wear tonight? He seems more melancholy than usual. Also much, much drunker) and figured out what exactly was going down with the ‘captives’ in the Shallyan hospice. Apparently they were all victims (or corroborators?) of Chaotic activity, and Vern Hendrick and Captain Pfeiffer – who are in cahoots, apparently – decided to hide them all in the hospice so as to not arouse suspicion and panic amongst the general populace. Also it’d look bad for Lord Aschaffenberg if we’d let a cultist like the Chemist slip away from Grunwald Lodge. Too bad the Priest got Sapponatheim onto the whole conspiracy. Only time will tell if that causes problems. Perhaps the Priest and the Dwarf can feed that slippery bastard some bad information and send him on a wild goose chase? Maybe we’ll have to frame him after all…

Bright and early the next day we went to some dumb costume shop to get our dumb costumes for Holzenhauer’s dumb ball. I had originally intended to settle on a Bright Order costume (naturally) before I realized it would be much funnier to dress up as a Shallyan. Too bad that means I’ll probably have to leave my staff behind, but oh well, it’s worth the comedy factor. Might confuse any potential assassins as well.

Speaking of my staff, the Dwarf hooked me up with the metalworkers and he and I – and the Lawman – proceeded down there to meet Bigby Blaze when, lo behold, we bumped into our old friend and ally…that, uh, that elderly Sigmarite priest guy. We were all set to say hello and ask him about the weather when five imp-demons materialized in Morrslieb’s glare and started attacking the priest. Is nowhere safe anymore? The answer to that is: only if you’re not in the company of awe-inspiring heroes like us. We made quick work of the demons and saved the priest – in broad daylight, in the middle of the street, amongst a crowd of people, and then set about our business. I made sure to tell everyone that we were working for Lord Aschaffenberg while we were at it.

The Dwarf spent all day tinkering away at something – he even used warpstone to augment some lenses, which I cannot approve of, but by the same token, the Dwarf’s penchant for using warpstone-enhanced shot in his pistols has always resulted in hilarious results. I myself set about the laborious process of augmenting my own staff with Bigby Blaze. I can’t wait til it’s completely finished – it will be a weapon to be feared.

As we left the metalworkers guild at the end of the day we were surprised to see Lord Aschaffenberg’s carriage pulling up! He invited us inside and, lo and behold, offered us a patronage on the spot. Apparently our heroics with the implets had impressed him considerably. Looks like everything’s turning up Kvothe!
Edge of night alley



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